With My Nails

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With my nails
I tore the mattress we slept on
Foam from foam
Later
I slept on the damn cold floor
That night when love left
The wind blew faster and colder
The lights went out
Dimming my vision for a month
The flowers did not return for a year
The sun beamed less those days
In the cold dark night
I screamed your name
But love didn’t show up
At the darkest hour
Nor warmth to
Thaw my freezing heart

With my nails
I tore my flesh apart my bones
Cursing your name
I emptied jugs and jugs of plasma
Separated from blood
Then drowned my blood in alcohol
I drank back my own bile
Chocked on my saliva
For a month
I did not feel the beat of my heart
Food tasted like shit
I tasted metal on my tongue

With my nails
I drilled into my flesh
My nails dripped blood
The scars still remain on my lower abdomen
Yelling your name
Cursing the woman
Who brought you into this world
I puked on our memories
And lay naked on the
Bathroom floor
Waiting for the coldness
To still my body

With my nails
I pulled out chunks of hair
Outside the custodians of love
Thundered in anger
Lightning struck the same place twice
I made it rain with my eyes
In my throat
Angry butterflies fluttered their wings
And pissed in my gut
I swallowed them whole
And allowed the mosquitoes
To take the little blood left

With my nails
I scratched the walls
Matching them with the markings
I had made amidst steamy sex
I mumbled things I cannot remember
Placing a curse on everything you’ll ever touch
Tongue stuck between my teeth
Lungs robbed off oxygen
Heart pumping nothing
Only the imagination of a person remained
Nipples retracted
Spine yanked from my back
Knees wobbling
Legs letting go…

Gemini Spice 

 

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