I made it people! I am finally 26 and baby am I glad!
This year, 2020, has always meant something to me, I have looked forward to this for the past eight years. Something special spikes me. Finally, I am grown and can confidently say, awoken.
The last time I wrote about my birthday was when I was turning 21 and another growth surge happened. I learnt a lot that year and I have a good feeling that this one will be nothing short of that, if not more.
I have started to remember myself and the quarter-life crisis I had when I was turning 25 is slowly merging into an enormous wave of self-realization and an awareness of the world around me.
I feel things I had never before. Years came and went and I was like a zombie, wandering this world without any landing. I watched my life like a movie. The messages and truth, always there but I wasn’t listening. But now I have heard the voice in the wilderness and my eyes and ears are wide open. I don’t want my eyes to deceive me so I try to feel more, than assume that my intellect is wiser than my intuition.
I know who I am. I am a fearless feminist, a go-getter, a woman bounded by no limits set by society or any individual. I know what I want, more intellect, more honest conversation, a more feeling and interconnected world that values inclusion, diversity, equality and acceptance for all.
I have seen many things in my life. I have seen selfless people whose joy is to share in warmth, food, love and harmony. I have met people whose only joy is to see others fail, people who kill ideas right when they have only sprouted, people who will never lend a helping hand unless it benefits them. There are people who will love you without knowing a single thing about you and others who will know everything about you and still detest you. There are those who will genuinely love you and keep you for life and there are those who will deceive you for their own self-interest. I have met people blinded by power, prestige, popularity. I have also met people who are not interested in any of that and who just want a free society.
I have seen myself metamorphosize from a young naïve and low-self-esteemed girl to a conscious woman aware of my strengths and weakness which are both necessary for my development. I have been mean to people, I have said hurtful things to those I love and others, to myself, and I have also seen myself regret some of those decisions and acknowledge my wrongs and apologized. That’s growth. I have been scared, full of fear, pain, suffering and I have seen myself rise from depths I would take years to explain. But I rose. And I am here. I am still here. I am a survivor, like you. With time, I will learn how to take it one step at a time.
I know what I want from this life. More intellect. I want to learn more and more every day that I live and I know I cannot fail to do that because that’s all we are doing here, learning. We are here to share ideas, information, knowledge and that’s why we communicate.
I am happy about the people I meet every day. The things I learn about everyone in their own diversity are just special. I am happy about the conversations shift that is happening. Am glad that the mushrooms are rising everywhere. I am excited that we can talk about the evils of capitalism and that I can go to protests with other freedom lovers who fight for what they stand for. It’s not easy to find people who believe in the things they say or even stand for then when the time for the bullet arrives. But the courageous will always be ready even without a vest for we will not live like sub-humans.
I have experienced love from women and men and growth from the reflection found in another’s eye. I have loved and been loved. I have hurt others and been hurt. I have been in relationships where I was made to feel like no one, like nothing and I have been in others where I have known the best version of myself. People who loved me for I am and who we even ended things in a human way. I have lost love to the jealous goddesses of love and beauty who made me yearn and dream but took my beloved away and into the arms of another.
And now, I just want it all. A full life. Meet and interact with more people. Learn more languages and culture. Read and learn more. Understand more. Listen more. Write more. Express more. Live more. Love more. Want More. More. I don’t how many years I have been promised. I plan to live my life in the truest version of myself with no apology whatsoever! The dream is to get a monument, so baby watch this space coz a fearless spirit, a fire-breathing dragon, has risen and she ain’t dying any time soon. Raaarh!!!