You have been made to believe that the forbidden fruit was a red apple, right?
I mean, when you imagine Eve giving the fruit to Adam, you can actually see her handing him the red apple she got from the snake, no?
If you remember your Sunday school days, the pictures you were shown of the creation story show the tree of the middle as an apple tree with red apples hanging from it.
The snake meanders on the tree and then talks to Eve who eats and… you know the story, the destruction of the earth and humanity.
Permission to call bullshit?
Way I see, these guys just had sex.
Such an audacious assertion!
But come on, you have thought about it, right?
Why is it that when you have sex, you feel that vulnerability? That nakedness? It happens for both women and men and that’s why there is that usual weirdness after sex especially the first times.
Kwanza when the sex wasn’t good, she goes to the bathroom and he is left on the bed cursing the day he realized he has a penis. Smh.
Oh, come on, these guys realized there were naked after eating an apple? Yet an apple a day keeps the doctor away?
So, let’s go back to the start and begin to demystify some of these misconceptions. And hey dear reader, you gotta tell me what you think of this shit am gonna feed you, coz its classic baby!
When you think of the time God created Adam and Eve, at what age do you think they were?
Yes, I know it said God created a man and a woman so you assume all of them were at children-bearing age at creation.
But what if they grew to that age where they could have sex? Stay with me coz this is going to important to this theory.
Supposing they were young when they were created.
We all know there are two accounts of creation which are both different in the chronology of creation and even in the purpose of creation, right.
These two accounts, believe me, are the reasons why we misunderstand creation and our purpose on earth. Am not claiming to be some maestro sent by the grand sion to come give you the truth, but am a good debater on paper, so allow me to play with your mind a little, aye?
- In the first account, God creates woman and man at the same time before plants and animals. Its written there,
Gen. 1: 27
“So, God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”
- In the second account, God creates plants and animals then a human who God separates into male and female after seeing the solitude of this human. (Ahem, God created a hermaphrodite and then divide them into two. Damn!)
Gen… 2: 22
“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”
And what does Adam say,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh”
The “this is now…” points to some indication of failed tests before Eve, right? One day I will tell you the story of Lilith.
These two accounts of creation were given by two people who felt completely different about the order and purpose of human beings on earth.
- In the first account, God commands man to till the earth. So, this guy Adam is a worker.
Eve is God’s daughter. And if we are thinking God is male, you know how fathers are with their daughters. Possessive.
- While in the second account, God commands both humans to multiply and fill the earth. God places them in paradise.
Different purposes and order.
Then, and the reason for this article, they both sin and are chased out of paradise. And we want to know, what is the fucking the sin?
Let’s take the first account where they are both created at the same time, there is no command to multiply, right?
- In this account unlike the second one, God is a supreme ruler who orders things to be “Let there be” but in the second, God is an artist, interacting with the earth to mold man and sprout plants.
In the first account, God did not intend for these people to have sex that’s why God tells them to not eat that fruit.
You remember in the beginning when we talked about them having being young?
That assertion can very well be integrated with the forbidden fruit rule to give us a broader contextualization of this sin.
So, they are young when God creates them in the first account, both female and male.
God commands them not to eat the fruit.
Have you watched ‘The Blue Lagoon?’ If you have, it’s easy for you to get the context, if you haven’t, just imagine, a girl and a boy of around age 5. Okay.
So, they play in the garden, interact with animals, swim in the rivers, have frequent communion with God and life’s good.
But then, things start to change when the girl is 9 years and the boy is clueless. He starts to see her boobs and hips develop and you know, its weird and beautiful.
Fruits on her chest.
He gets to 11 and he starts feeling shit, he is producing sperms and all.
They start making out and stuff. They like it,
Maybe here God comes and reminds them (In that ‘God’ voice) “Don’t Eat the Fruit of the Center!”
I mean, they are eating other fruits because the girl’s boobs look like avocados but they never eat the fruit of the center.
Fruit of the center
Why the fuck is this fruit represented by an apple?
Ever cut an apple vertically?
When you open both sides, what do you see?
I’ll tell you what I see? A vagina! With even a clitoris. I have seen my vagina enough times to ascertain this. And so have you? Or your partner’s.
One day, the snake crawls to the woman and convinces her to have sex.
Imagine these two adolescents are sleeping one night. They are used to sleeping next to each other coz that’s how its always been.
Now, one early morning when the sun ain’t the only thing that’s coming up, dude gets an erection.
His dick rises and he starts poking the girl’s butt.
Now what happens when the dick erects? Blood flows from to the dick and the brain gets fuzzy for a while. Sometimes, you hear men do not use their head during sex, only their dick is in charge.
So, the dick also gets a name ‘the snake.’
The snake convinces the woman to eat the fruit translates into
The dick poking her ass gets her wet and she agrees to have sex with Adam.
Why does this story change?
Simple, human beings do not like responsibility. Especially men who scape town after any pregnancy scare.
That’s why he said, “it’s the woman who made me eat the fruit” while he could have simply said no. Like Joseph.
That’s why men run from women they have impregnated.
That’s why men blame women even when they violate them. “She provoked me!” They say.
Catch your boyfriend cheating, dude will tell you it’s the woman who came for him. Like he was at gun point and hated every moment of it.
Adam, like any other man, did not take responsibility for the actions of the snake.
The woman eats the fruit and seeing its good, takes it back to her husband, who also thinks, yea, good idea. Crap.
They realized they were naked because they had sex. That’s how I felt my first time.
And they hide in shame because sex for the first can be bewildering, sensitive and extremely vulnerable. That’s why men harden up after sex because they want to separate that link between them and women that existed in the beginning.
Leaving the Garden
How do you picture them leaving paradise?
In my mind, Eve is pregnant as they are leaving Eden and as the angels close the gates and one of them gives Adam a sword to use in the wild.
That’s what fathers do when their daughters get pregnant right? They chase them from their home and “go live with that man who got you pregnant!”
Afterwards God realizes that human beings cannot not have sex.
And maybe eradicates that project and creates another form of being who he is cognizant will have sex and gives them the order to multiply.
Such weird punishments to give people who have eaten a fruit yet it’s all sexually-related.
- The ground is cursed because of man and he has to till it for food. A man who does not till alright is considered a scourge to society because he has not built a paradise for his wife and provided for his family. (Society has said this). A woman won’t have sex with a man that’s broke. No finance, no romance.
- The woman is told she will experience pain and sorrow until childbirth. Basically, that’s period pain which I hear ends after child-birth. You will bleed every month (because Eve had sex and yet you haven’t) but sex will also heal you after getting pregnant and giving birth.
- Also, woman will experience pain during child-birth. Believe me, the pain we experience during child-birth makes you swear off sex. At that moment your eyes awaken to the plausibility of that curse. This is a legitimate curse that gives and takes, coz lets just be honest, you still have sex afterwards. So that you can get pregnant and go through that curse alone.
Years of Having Sex and Filling The Earth Yet We are Afraid of Ever Acknowledging that WE DO IT! Because it’s the original sin!
Tell me what you think. Poke holes in my theory and believe me, there’s nothing I love like a good debate.
Photocredit: Deviant Art